I was visited by a different fairy today, not the tooth fairy, but the diarrhea and vomit fairy called Vibriosis, from the oysters I was so happy about.
Firstly, I would like to thank God, for always remembering me. I have never avoided extremely rare consequences- from anything innocent I have ever done in my life.
Secondly, I would like to thank the fishermen and grocery store that graciously gifted me with this potentially life threatening bacteria.
Thirdly, I would like to thank mother nature, and my body - for dealing so efficiently with this bacteria, that I will finally get to do the in depth cleaning of my whole apartment, that I kept putting off!
Update: I have now literally shit on my leg. Poop has a sweeter smell than I remember. I hope the shit does not splash up against the paintings, propped up against the wall.